Merely great quarterbacks set NFL records and win Super Bowls.

A truly historic man makes gray stubble and a battered golf cap that's older than Arnold Palmer's first putter look cool. And that, sports fans, can only be Brett Favre.

Favre's first press conference as a Minnesota Viking was much more spectacular than his first preseason appearance in purple. It didn't matter. The jerseys are flying off the racks, ticket sales are up and Favre may yet be able to push a health care bill through Congress in his spare time.

Think I'm exaggerating? Heavens to Bart Starr, no. It's pretty clear that no matter how old he looks and how rusty he may be, Favre can do little wrong in the eyes of NFL analysts. They still see him as the guy who can lead the Vikes to the promised land - their first Super Bowl win in franchise history.

While watching the hoopla, it struck that maybe I'm underestimating Favre.

His reach, his ability may stretch over thousands of years and around the world.

And some deep research - about 90 seconds of it, if you must know - confirmed my suspiscions. So I offer some headlines that illustrate how great Favre was and how wonderful he may be.

I can't vouch for the accuracy of what follows. You might find it hard to believe that Favre would be old enough to get all of this done. OK, did you take a good look at that beard and cap?

Be that as it may, let's begin the trip through time

Favre hands off two stone tablets to stranger on mountaintop.

Favre builds Rome - in a day.

ESPN analysts: Favre would make Alexander the Great REALLY cry.

Favre warnings about flood control go unheeded in Atlantis

Favre finds fountain of youth, but refuses to divulge its location for nearly 400 years.

Favre airmails early warning to Americans at Lexington and Concord. British intercept.

Favre to Washington at Valley Forge: Get in the boat and row, will ya?

Favre tells Francis Scott Key that his new song will be a classic. "Just wait 'till Whitney Houston sings it," says old QB.

Favre to Lincoln: Try a beard, and go to Gettysburg for a road trip

Favre advises unknown band from Liverpool: Lose the barber.

Favre visits Al Capone's vault - and actually finds stuff!

Favre wins Daytona 500 - on riding lawn mower.

Favre sings Jefferson Starship tune "Miracles" to Al Michaels before USA-USSR hockey game.

Doing jumping jacks as a warmup, Favre sets world record in high jump.

A "really tight spiral" is key as Favre pass knocks down Berlin Wall.

Obscure comedian credits Favre for "show about nothing" idea.

Favre brokers Middle East peace; blames Ted Thompson when last-second snag ends negotiations.

Favre suggests Buster Douglas as opponent for Tyson.

Finally: Favre joins Packers' rival, signs with Vikings

Hmm. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.