JAMES FRAZIER, Pulse Movie Reviewer | Posted: Wednesday, July 23, 2008 12:00 am
I was surprised to hear about "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" because I couldn't imagine there were many people clamoring for a sequel. I asked around and was unable to track down a superfan of the first installment, but then again, there probably weren't a lot of people begging for the original adaptation of the Dark Horse comic series.
Hellboy, a makeup- and prosthetic-laden Ron Perlman, is a big red superhero, spawned from Satan (or something) and raised by humans. Sort of a blue-collar fellow, Hellboy is an investigator of the paranormal, which that boils down to killing monsters.
The flick begins with Hellboy in the throes of domestic bliss, which means that he regularly engages in stupid fights over trite issues with Liz (Selma Blair), his flame-wielding girlfriend. There's a pregnancy amiss, which in addition to supplying us with one of those delightful "she's having a baby" subplots, also charges us with the guilty pleasure of figuring out how a seven-foot tall demon would make love to a 100-pound woman. Come to think of it, find me an antonym for pleasure.
Director Guillermo del Toro ("Hellboy," "Pan's Labyrinth") drenches the film in the bizarre, but pretty, scenery he has become well-known for. I suspect, however, the comfort of a heftier budget prompted him to go way overboard. From Hellboy's government lair, to the dozens of creatures that populate each frame, everything looks good. Too good. By making everything so fantastic, much of it becomes quite mundane.
The characters, even Hellboy's jittery boss (Jeffrey Tambor), seem emphatically unimpressed with what should be jaw-dropping. It's not every day a 10-story plant rages through Manhattan, or that a multi-eyed demon doles out doomsday prophecies in exchange for miracle cures. But the protagonists here often seem bored, approaching their world-saving missions with the same vigor that they do their beer drinking.
The plot involves the prince of the elves, who declares war on humanity by seizing control of an ancient army of robots, which we are assured are "indestructible." I'm guessing that lots of things must have seemed indestructible before the hydrogen bomb was invented, but since Hellboy is on the case, it never gets that far.
The film has some exciting action sequences, though I suspect that few summer movie junkies will be particularly impressed after doses of "Iron Man," "The Incredible Hulk," "Indiana Jones 4," and "Hancock" have been crammed down their throats. There are moments of light-hearted humor that didn't make me laugh, though I did crack a few smiles.
"Hellboy II: The Golden Army" has an unfortunate quality in common with its predecessor: I never once felt that I'd like to see another.