HUDSON - Stephanie Prather is good at the I-have-to-pee-but-I'm-pretending-I-don't dance. While she gallops around her family room, it's clear she hasn't quite graduated from potty-training. She throws her underwear across the room and after much prodding, succumbs to Dad's request that she try and go to the bathroom.

"Potty training has been the most difficult part of this whole job," Jim Prather says.

This whole job refers not to a law office or a medical practice, but to fatherhood. Traditionally, the American family involves a working father and a stay-at-home mother, but the Prather's situation is the reverse. Jim does the laundry, cleans the house, cooks dinner and watches Stephanie, while his wife Barb works as the executive director of the Northeast Iowa Food Bank.

Two-year-old Stephanie is representative of the growing number of children who live in a household in which Mom works and Dad stays home.

This role reversal is a reflection of more women in the work force. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of children living with stay-at-home dads has jumped 70 percent since 1990, to 1.7 million.

Jim Prather's situation is unique. He is on disability retirement, and so for him and his wife Barb to start a family, there was no other option but for him to be Mr. Mom. But Jim has few complaints about his role.

"Work doesn't identify me; life is more than just a job," Jim says. "As a parent you need to do your share. If that means giving up your job, whether you're a man or a woman, it shouldn't make any difference."

Being a stay-at-home dad is no easy job. As Stephanie runs to the basement for a pretend tea-party, Jim follows and multi-tasks by throwing a load of laundry into the washing machine. Stephanie decides three minutes later she'd actually prefer watching Dora the Explorer.

Upstairs.

On this warm August morning, Jim sighs and wipes his brow and obliges his daughter's request. Ten minutes later, Stephanie wants to play outside. She shouts something in gibberish, but Jim easily deciphers her speech and grins.

"People always talk about the relationship between dads and their daughters, and I look at Jim and Stephanie and they're like two peas in a pod," Barb says. "When I first went back to work there were many times I wanted to turn the car around and come home and be with my baby, but with our situation, I know that's not realistic, and I've accepted that. I'm somebody who likes to work and be busy, and Jim is much more patient than I am. This works for us."

Brady Hendrickson can relate to Jim's life. Last year, he and his wife, Christi, and their two children, Cole, 6, and Nolan, 14 months, moved to Cedar Falls so she could teach at the University of Northern Iowa. Since that time, Brady has watched their children while his wife is at work.

He plans on returning to work in another year, but said being a full-time dad is something he always wanted to do.

"I want to be an integral part of their learning and their experiences," Brady says. "I don't want to hear about it when I come home. My wife would love to be doing what I'm doing."

The reversal of traditional gender roles can occasionally cause marital problems. The increase in stay-at-home dads has spawned many news reports, some that claim women feel underappreciated because their children are more dependent on their father. Some report that men feel emasculated because they're not fulfilling their traditional role as the bread winner.

Brady and Jim agree that this is untrue for them. They openly communicate with their spouses to avoid conflict. They feel satisfied and enriched by their chosen paths, noting a lot of men don't realize what they're missing out on.

"This has eased a lot of stress. We've actually become a lot closer, since we have more time together," Christi says. She admits, though, at times she's jealous that Brady gets to stay at home with their children.

Even though these fathers are happy with their lifestyles, they are aware that the world around them isn't always as accepting. Jim is the only father at weekly reading hour at the Hudson library, and Barb says she "gets the feeling that maybe he doesn't fit in with that whole mold."

And upon learning of the Hendrickson's family structure, their neighbor told Christi, "Oh, he must be better than you at the household."

"My wife was completely taken aback," says Brady, who firmly believes they share equally in family responsibilities. "Some people are still so stuck in their roles they can't get out of themselves."

For Jim and Brady, disregarding tradition has proved rewarding. Jim admits the first time he went to the grocery store without Stephanie, he couldn't stop looking around for her. He says a child has certainly brought out his nurturing side.

Brady says he loves seeing Nolan's stages develop daily "hourly, even." He adds that answering Cole's questions and seeing that light bulb go on is one of the cooler things in life.

"Are all men capable of this? Some women aren't even capable," Brady says. "I wouldn't say this lifestyle is for everybody. Everybody's got to take their own situation and develop what's best for them."