I used to love that frontiersy accent heard in Minnesota and the Dakotas and the governor's mansion in Alaska. You know the one: Think Frances McDormand in "Fargo" or Garrison Keillor in Lake Wobegon mode. I loved the hard "r's," the oddly genial, lilting sound of the words. The "Well, ya know now …" The accent was friendly, comforting even.

Now I hear it all the time, but it doesn't sound all that friendly. Oh, sure, the smile is still in the voice, which fairly oozes with Americana, but the words are more like Baked Alaska, warm on the outside and ice cold when you dig deeper.

Yes, my hons, the words are spoken by the only Alaskan I've known since "Northern Exposure" went off the air. And Sarah Palin is no Chris-the-D.J. Yeah, I know he's made up and she is real, sort of, but that just makes me sadder still.

Where's the "Northern Exposure" Alaska? I liked the mellow, quirky characters that read books. Palin's Alaska is drill-drill-drill and dingy yellow polar bears clinging to less ice than I have in my freezer.

For a state that nobody thought much about - unless you were planning your Holland America cruise with the family because "Mee Maw can't die without seeing them glaciers and eating seven meals a day"- Alaska is very much in the news. There's even a new TV series called "It's Tougher In Alaska" that picks a different horror every week (working in law enforcement with a district so big you have to patrol by air, installing utility poles in hard-frozen ground, running a small-town library while dealing with a meddling mayor, etc.).

Sarah Palin IS Alaska these days, rocking those designer eyeglasses and droppin' her g's and "Okie Dokie"-ing all over the nation.

Factories can't produce enough of those frameless glasses these days because Sarah Palin has made them the Furby of the day. Goshdarnit, guys and gals!

If we wear glasses like Sarah maybe we can be just like her - a caribou slayer.

No! I meant to say a mother of five and a caribou slayer.

I don't really care if she hunts. I don't care if she turns Ted Nugent into a fireside throw rug. If the economy keeps tanking away, maybe she can guarantee moose meat in every pot, smiling confidently whilst she wipes the blood spray off her cool lenses. It's a VP thing, try to understand.

There are many people who like, even adore, the telegenic Sarah. She's approachable and relatable in the same way that, eight years ago, voters preferred Bush because he'd "be more fun to have a beer with." What? Eight years and still no invites to a White House kegger? It's enough to make you reconsider beer compatibility as a quality for electing a presidential ticket. Yah. You betcha.