Q: My children, ages 4 and 5, simply will not pick up their toys or books. I have reduced the number of toys, significantly, but they still won't pick them up. They pull everything out; toy cars and planes, stuffed animals, blankets to make tents, and so on, but they won't pick up and put anything away unless their father or I stand over them. What now? Should I reduce the number of toys further?

A: I have not one, but three ideas for you! Take your pick.

Incredible vanishing toys: The first option will deliver a HUGE wake-up call to the children. As the name implies, their toys - all of them, mind you - suddenly disappear. If you don't have an attic or basement storage area big enough for the job, then go to a self-storage facility and rent a unit big enough to accommodate the entire kit 'n' caboodle. The next time the children are out of the house for a few hours (this may require that one of you takes them somewhere), put ALL of their toys in boxes, and then take the boxes to the storage unit. When the kids come home and discover their immaculate rooms, tell them you are no longer going to get upset and mean about them not picking up their toys because they aren't going to have any. Be very matter-of-fact.

Don't be mean or act like this is a "gotcha!" move. Tell them that in a month, you will give each of them two or three toys. If they do well with that number, then after a week or so you'll give them two or three more, and so on. Hold back the toys they covet the most for last.

Charity box: Put a "Charity Box" in the back hallway and tell the kids that you are no longer going to nag them to pick up their toys. On any given occasion, you are simply going to tell them once that it's time for them to pick them up, but you will pick up any they don't pick up within a reasonable period of time. The toys you pick up will go into the back hall Charity Box. The children need to know, up front, that once a toy goes into the CB, no power on earth will get it out. When the box is full, it will be taken and donated to a local charity that distributes toys to underprivileged children and a new box will take its place.

Toy lending library: Dedicate a closet or a large cabinet to toy storage. Go through your children's toys, culling ones they no longer play with. Keep culling until you get down to no more than 20 toys. Put the rest in the new "toy library closet." Allow the children no more than two or three to play with at a time and make a rule that in order to get a toy out of the closet, they must give you one to put back in. This keeps the number of toys that are "out" at any given time to a number that your kids will be able to pick up in no time at all. If they "can't" pick up three toys, then limit their library privileges to one toy at a time.