Several months ago, I suggested that sports programs at Iowa universities bring more arrests into the area than trophies. Although my statistics were impeccable, I was roundly attacked by Midwestern sports enthusiasts who believe that it is the God-given duty of any educational institution (beyond the fifth grade) to furnish sports entertainment to the citizens.

Everyone knows that the "Iowa kid," fresh from the cornfield, is an athlete without peer, and besides, what else can one do in the northern Midwest for most of the year without sports? Perhaps eating oneself senseless while the snow blows off the edge of the world would suffice, but nothing matches a good contest between two teams with lots of yellow in their colors.

So before I'm burned at the stake for heresy, complete the following quiz. What athletic program has the following statistics? A friend and local business person sent me most of the information.

Thirty-six have been charged with abusing women; 29 of these were accused in either criminal or civil proceedings. Seven have been arrested for fraud. Nineteen have been accused of writing bad checks.

Three have done time for assault, while eight have been arrested for shoplifting. Twenty-one currently are defendants in lawsuits.

One would expect that drugs and alcohol would be a problem. Fourteen have been arrested on drug-related charges, and 84 have been arrested for drunken driving in the last year. This statistic is not usually reported.

Many have problems because of shady business dealings; 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit. Over 115 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least two businesses.

So which athletic program is it? Is it the Hawks, the Cyclones or the Panthers? Surely, it sounds more, to many of us, like Michigan or maybe "The" Ohio State.

No. It is none of these.

Perhaps this is a description of the movers and shakers of "big business?" Again ? no.

This is the rap sheet of the CEOs of "big government." These stats come from the honorable members of the United States Congress.

There is nothing new in this. Over a hundred years ago, Mark Twain observed that, "It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."

I recall reading Jack Anderson's "Confessions of a Muckraker," more than 25 years ago in which he compared Washington with Gomorrah.

He described a party hosted by the man who would soon be the attorney general of the United States. Anderson wrote, "By midnight the scene was almost indescribable. Women of mature years were shining up to young men. Some Party stalwarts had passed out altogether; others were vomiting in corners."

He outlined how many "financial undertakings" were consummated in cash with "envelopes filled with greenbacks."

If money and booze were not enough, our honorable representatives could also be rewarded with sex, which was "a growing service industry." "The girls were prize specimens and were awarded in accordance with an intricate hierarchal system."

So why do we have crooks, cons and boobs running the government? We may not like the answer, but it is undeniable. We do so because we put them into office.

Why? Because we get the government we deserve. Corrupt leaders are put into office by corrupt voters.

Adam Clayton Powell was re-elected even after Congress expelled him in 1967. He was charged with income-tax evasion before his first election to Congress, but he was the voters' crook, and he brought back to the voters what they wanted.

Rep. Barney Frank shared his Washington house with a male prostitute who ran a sexual business out of the residence. But he still easily won re-election.

President Clinton frolicked on the job with girls almost young enough to be his daughter, but he defended the politicalization of gender favored by certain special interest groups, so it didn't matter.

If we want our neighbor's property, instead of us breaking the law and stealing it directly, we elect representatives to do it for us.

As Alexis d'Tocqueville warned over 150 years ago, "The American Republic will endure until the politicians learn they can bribe the people with their own money."

The interesting problem, however, is not that there are politicians willing to do this, but that there are voters who keep electing them.