The following is fiction and obviously could never happen in this era of media political neutrality.

Aug. 1: In an open-mike incident, a Democratic official was heard describing Barack Obama's opponents as, "gun-loving, Bible-thumping bigots who believe that the moon is made of cheese." The tape was played on Fox News but did not appear in any other media.

Aug. 6: Obama asked today why, in light of the current price of food, the Bush administration has not mined the moon. The moon is composed of 90 percent cheese and has the potential of feeding almost all the hungry people in the world. Obama promised that if he is elected, the moon will be mined and world hunger will be eliminated.

Aug. 7: CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN run stories on the amount of cheese to be found on the moon. NPR does an hour program on world hunger.

Aug. 8: The New York Times demands to know why President Bush has not responded to world hunger.

Aug. 10: Nancy Pelosi stated on "Face the Nation" that Bush's refusal to use moon cheese to feed the hungry was a "high crime." Harry Reid maintained on "Meet the Press" that Bush should be impeached for the "high crime" of ignoring food sources. Chris Matthews accused the Bush administration of "high crimes."

Aug. 11: NBC ran stories on rumors of how Dick Cheney influenced Bush when the discussion about mining the food on the moon was raised in secret White House meetings. All sources stated that Cheney's interference could constitute "high crimes."

Aug. 13: Top scientists announced that new research shows that kidney stones would be reduced by 30 percent if people ate more cheese, especially moon cheese, saving the nation $499 billion in medical expenses.

Aug. 14: Top U.N. experts stated that world hunger has a greater impact on women.

Aug. 15: John McCain, when asked by a reporter why he was in favor of hunger, stated that he certainly had no objection to the poor being fed by moon cheese.

Aug. 18: The cover of Time magazine showed a heroic Obama astride the earth with his arms around the moon, while small figures of hungry people showed their thanks for Obama and for the food that is to come their way.

Aug. 18: A special interest group from San Francisco issued a bulletin stating that 300 million people, mostly children, die of hunger every year. No references are given.

Aug. 19: In a White House news conference in which Bush announced the withdrawal of troops from all foreign countries to be sent to California to fight forest fires kindled by global warming, Bush is asked by a reporter why he ignored the hungry when so much food is available on the moon. He was asked by another reporter why he should not be impeached after allowing 300 million people, mostly children, to die of hunger.

Aug. 19: The DNC's chairman, Howard Dean, wanted to know what McCain's role was in the purposeful starving of 100 million people, mostly children.

Aug. 20: Top scientists at NASA claim that cheese from the moon could have been mined for the last 30 years.

Aug. 21: A hurricane came ashore in North Carolina creating massive flooding to low-lying areas.

Aug. 22: A letter to the editor in the local paper demanded the immediate impeachment of Bush, Cheney and McCain for "high crimes" and allowing 100 million people, mostly children, to starve, especially with so much moon cheese available.

Aug. 25: Obama denied that he ever said that there was cheese on the moon. He stated that when he becomes president, North Carolina will no longer suffer from hurricanes.

Aug. 26: Bill O'Reilly played a tape showing Obama claiming that there was cheese on the moon.

Aug. 27: An Obama spokesperson and Jesse Jackson accused O'Reilly of being a racist for showing the tape.

Aug. 28: A Washington Post reporter asked McCain how he could justify associating with known racists like O'Reilly.

Aug. 29: The New York Times ran an article from a top gerontologist explaining why McCain is too old to stop hurricanes.

Aug. 29: Bush is asked by a NPR reporter why he should not be impeached after allowing North Carolina to be hit by a hurricane after so many warnings.