DENNIS CLAYSON, For The Courier | Posted: Sunday, May 17, 2009 12:00 am
To the left, there are no absolutes. Oh, maybe one.
Fanatics have no sense of proportion. The difference between a fanatic and an activist is that the activist demands to impose her lack of proportion on everyone else.
People who claim their religion is a tradition have neither.
Liberal compassion needs the poor and will adopt whatever policy is necessary to maintain an adequate supply.
Progressives never get past the past.
A religious bigot is someone who believes someone else's religion enough to fear it.
Diversity does not tolerate differences.
If the Constitution is anything the Supreme Court says it is, then the Supreme Court has no justification to exist.
If everyone gets a college degree to get a job, then a college degree will not get you a job.
Bipartisan cooperation is achieved when the other guy agrees with you. Partisan politics is when the other guy will not agree with you.
A conservative is someone who wants the world to be as it was when she was a child. An environmentalist is someone who wants the world to look like it did when she was a child. Both are illusions, but one is only an illusion of an illusion.
A nanny state is where you are protected and taken care of, or you are shot.
Educators are the only people in America who don't believe in education.
America does not produce enough engineers for the same reasons that too many people are fat.
Reasoned speech is a liberal condemning a conservative. Hate speech is a conservative condemning a liberal.
College students are convinced that grades are important, but no one can remember why.
Swift boated: A noun turned into a verb by those who believe that the ends justify the means. The term, as currently used, implies that someone is untruthfully utilizing information to slander a political candidate to destroy their election. In reality, the term signifies that a voter should not believe a truth utilized to contradict a lie being used to win an election. An example from the last election: "Hillary Clinton was swift boated today by the right-wing smear machine who claimed she was never shot at by snipers in some Balkan country at one time or another."
Only people with full stomachs care about the environment.
Republicans pretend to be conservatives to get elected. Democrats pretend to be moderates. Each party pretends to have a mandate while in office. Both parties run on the same pretense in the next election cycle and the voters pretend not to notice.
If politicians had to obey a truth in advertising law, then the Economic Stimulus Bill would simply be The Bill.
Liberals love taxes, as long as they are paid by someone else.
In a Nanny State, only unimportant people pay taxes.
It is amazing how having to take care of yourself clears the mind.
Liberals think of themselves as being smart and rejecting of "black and white" arguments and solutions. Yet they accuse anyone of not supporting government welfare as lacking compassion.
The Constitution hinders powerful people from doing what's best for the country, but that's exactly why it was written in the first place.
Every hot day, any decrease in ice floes or a warmer-than-normal year are seen as signs of global warming and impending doom by astute observers, but cold days, increases in ice flows and record lows are only of interest to naive observers who are reading too much into it.
A free thinker is a nonconformist who is thinking the same deep thoughts as other free thinkers.
"Diversity matters" because evidently if the good guys don't discriminate at every opportunity, then the other guys will. Yet in Obama's America, who are the other guys?
Unmarried women vote liberal for the same reason that some women get married. It gives them a claim to married men's money.