Posted: Sunday, February 24, 2008 12:00 am
Dennis Clayson
Suzie: Mommy … Mommy! When I grow up I wanna be a superdelegate!
Mom: A what?
Suzie: I wanna be a superdelegate. A superdelegate is a …
Mom: You are very precocious little girl, but I know what a superdelegate is, honey. I am an intelligent, free-thinking, unbelievably aware and extraordinarily compassionate liberal woman. But sweetheart, I thought you would grow up to be a doctor, a lawyer, a professor of gender studies or even the acme of all human aspirations, a social activist.
Suzie: But Mommy, a superdelegate is more important than any of those.
They are so important that they have a "right" to switch "allegiance" from one candidate to another. I don't know what that means, but it sounds very important.
Mom: Come over here, Suzie, and sit by on my knee while I explain to you what a superdelegate is.
In 1968, the Democrats had a convention in Chicago. The young people, who were full of righteous indignation and the highest ethical motivations, held a peaceful rally in the streets of Chicago. This peaceful and loving demonstration was met by the Nazi police, who were controlled by the Chicago Democratic machine.
The convention was so divided that Richard Nixon became the next president. Do you know who Nixon was?
Suzie: Yes, Mommy. He was the devil. After his death, his evil spirit entered into the body of Vice President Cheney.
Mom: That's right. Well, the party leaders were upset, so they gave more power to the people. This left some Democrats believing that the party leaders and elected politicians didn't have enough power, which is very bad because power is necessary to make sure that the government can help everyone. So the superdelegate rule was started after 1980. Its purpose was to give power back to active politicians.
Suzie: And it worked … didn't it, Mommy?
Mom: Well, it depends. The superdelegates only make up approximately one-fifth of the total number of delegates. So it works best in close elections when the people can't decide who should be the next president.
Suzie: So if the people aren't able to decide, the powerful people get to decide. That's why I want to be a superdelegate. But Mommy, don't Democrats believe in democracy?
Mom: This is hard to explain, but let me try. The government is supposed to take care of all of us, but sometimes the people don't know what is best for them. Sometimes, those of us who are smarter, like you and me, need to override the ignorance of the people. This is for their own good, of course.
Suzie: I saw on TV that the superdelegates also get a lot of money. Is that right?
Mom: I don't know what you were watching, because the media isn't supposed to talk about things like that unless they are talking about Republicans; but yes, a superdelegate can demand a lot from candidates.
So far, the superdelegates have received close to a million dollars from Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton sources.
Suzie: Does that mean that if I were a superdelegate, my vote could be bought?
Mom: Absolutely not! It may look that way. A study by the Center for Responsive Politics has found that campaign contributions are a reliable predictor of whose side a superdelegate will take, but anyone who would say such a thing can't be trusted.
Suzie: So the superdelegates don't really decide anything?
Mom: Well, no. I mean … they could, but they will always be fair. A political scientist at the University of Virginia said, and I hope that if you don't grow up to be a professor of gender studies, or a professor of journalism, that you would, at least, become a professor of political science; well, this professor said, "Only the limits of human creativity could restrict the ways in which Obama and Clinton will try to be helpful to superdelegates."
Suzie: Then if I were a superdelegate, would they be helpful to me also?
Mom: Yes, they could promise you all sorts of things, but they would never do that. They could give you some money, but it wouldn't be much.
Suzie: But Mommy, what could I buy with the money they would give me?
Mommy: Not much, Suzie … just the next president of the United States.