Democrats must feel a few twinges of schadenfreude as Republicans hit the skids.

Schadenfreude? It's German for taking malicious joy from others' troubles. And troubles have recently come to Republicans like flies to manure. For starters, one of their precious congressional seats was lost last week when Florida Congressman Mark Foley resigned. While he was authoring federal legislation to create severe penalties for anyone who sexually exploits children, he was sending salacious e-mails to congressional pages. That is, he was sexually exploiting children.

Foley may discover how well his own legislation works.

Some are calling for House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., to resign as speaker for not investigating Foley at least a year ago, when Foley's questionable e-mails were allegedly brought to his attention. Other Republican heads may roll as the party of "family values" tries to make amends.

This could well mean the end of congressional dominance by the Republicans, given the murderous chaos in Baghdad, the emptiness of the president's promises of democracy in the Middle East, his failed immigration and social security initiatives, his partial abandonment of the Geneva Conventions, and Bob Woodward's damning and hard to refute "State of Denial," just out.

Yet to any Democrats who feel like crowing, I say: Not so fast. You're going to have to do more than crow. If Republicans have suddenly hit the skids, you've been on the skids for years.

I'm reminded of a joke. A jetliner pilot at 35,000 feet says to his co-pilot and occasional rival, "Watch this. I can cut both engines, fall 5,000 feet, start them up and pull right out. It's a fun ride."

The skeptical copilot exclaims, "OK, let's see."

The pilot stops both engines, and sure enough, the plummeting begins. After a stomach-churning descent, the pilot pushes the "restart" button, but nothing happens. He pushes it again, then frantically engages backup switches, but still nothing. They're sinking fast.

The co-pilot? He grins and exclaims, "Man, are you ever in trouble now!"

It's no surprise that both parties are sinking fast with voters. Democrats have no clear plan to fix much of anything, at least that they can agree upon. Nor do they have leaders who can articulate an alternative agenda. Nor can they bring themselves to admit that Hillary will make a terrible presidential candidate.

Let's face it. Republicrats get elected with false negative ads, they seek to enrich their districts at taxpayer expense, they rarely come clean on anything until forced, and they'll do practically anything to stay in power. They behave like opportunistic, hypocritical, phony suckups. And that's putting it mildly.

Not all of them, and not all the time. But too many. What to do?

For starters, we voters need to examine our expectations. I don't mean electing felons or psychopaths. I mean let's stop expecting public officials to agree with us on every issue. This attitude forces them to pretend they can be all things to all voters.

Must we expect them to live model American lives? Must they wear their religious beliefs on their sleeve? Must they always campaign with a happy family in tow? Always show verbal restraint? Never bumble and fumble like the rest of us?

Real people sometimes imbibe, cuss, and at times doubt or even reject their religion. Many are atheists or agnostics. Once in awhile they fight with their wives and husbands, they ignore their kids, and they say stupid things. Yet they still could make brilliant, visionary statesmen and women if only they could speak their minds and behave like real people.

Now, because they lie about the little things, they quickly learn to lie about the big things. Becoming a politician means joining a fraternity of dishonest dissemblers with perpetual smiles.

When we can allow our politicians to live and talk more or less like us without 24/7 media and Internet coverage, maybe they can start to feel comfortable with regular bouts of personal honesty.

Then maybe we can demand that they deal with public issues honestly, too.

Until then, they'll stay on the skids with voters.