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Channeling politicians' resolutions
By THOMAS H. THOMPSON
Awakening on New Year's Day after a deep slumber, I realized I had been having some weird experiences. Out of body, I clearly recalled observing, unseen, a number of prominent figures. They were variously making resolutions, writing in their journals or just muttering to themselves. Interestingly enough, they had all dropped their public personas and were revealed to be as needy and insecure as the rest of us.
Here are some of my recollections:
George W. Bush: "Whew. It won't be long before I can give up the pretense of believing the war in Iraq can be 'won.' I screwed up big-time by listening to the likes of Cheney, Rumsfeld and Wolfie. No WMDs and more than 4,000 dead Americans --- and all for nothing, except a trillion dollars of debt. What was I thinking! Can't wait to get to the ranch."
Barack Obama (blinking and half-awake) resolved: "I will lay in a stock of nicotine gum at the White House and never again bum a cigarette from a Secret Service guy. Hmm. I wonder if I could still cancel Pastor Rick Warren?"
Sarah Palin: "If I decide to go for it in 2012, I'll have to enroll in a crash course in foreign affairs. And, oh yes, the names of newspapers are The Washington Post, The New York Times and The Christian Science Monitor; I'll recite those if ever, and hopefully never, I have to interview with that liberal elite journalist Katie Couric. Now I saw those turkeys being slaughtered behind me on the TV clip of my pardon of the turkey. I still can't figure out what's wrong with that."
Dick Cheney: "Yes, the war in Iraq was by necessity, not choice. And waterboarding is not, repeat not, 'torture.' I'll keep hold of the vice presidential papers; they're mine, dammit, not the American people's! (Right you are if you think you are. So there!)"
Joe Biden: "I resolve to answer questions in one brief paragraph; no exceptions. And I'm going to try to avoid blurting out dire predictions akin to my statement that Obama is certain to be tested by an international terrorist incident. Beau can take care of his own future."
Hillary: "I really did 'find my own voice,' but, regretfully, it wasn't enough to overcome the Obama full-court press. And so I was tired and frayed, but why in the world did I make up that Bosnian sniper thing? Got to button up and fly right as secretary of state!"
You may have some doubts about the accuracy of my out-of-body fantasies. I do too. But they illustrate an important fact about all of us, but particularly about public figures.
Every one of us has to make a face to meet the faces that we meet. Each of us has an interior life and a public life and the two rarely if ever coalesce perfectly. Most of us have a job. That job requires us to live up to external expectations if we want to succeed. We strive to appear in charge even though we have private reservations and even serious disagreements with role requirements. Certainly there are outright hypocrites who pretend to be what they're not. That's not the double life I have in mind.
Each of us presents an image to friends and to the public in general that departs from that interior personage. Sometimes it slips and falters. It's an exercise in repression and release to keep inside and outside functioning smoothly together.
But for politicians, especially those who are nationally visible public figures, the task of aligning interior and exterior is over and above the usual. The successful politico must present a robust public face. He or she must glow with health and endure endless campaigns with no signs of fatigue. He or she must watch every word for there is probably a mike or video camera nearby picking up the slightest gaffe.
Most of all, a presidential politician must incorporate within himself (or herself) the projected hopes of the populace for difficult change without flinching, and then project those hopes successfully outward.
Finally, it's Jan. 20. Obama is in the Oval Office. Yes, we can!
Here are some of my recollections:
George W. Bush: "Whew. It won't be long before I can give up the pretense of believing the war in Iraq can be 'won.' I screwed up big-time by listening to the likes of Cheney, Rumsfeld and Wolfie. No WMDs and more than 4,000 dead Americans --- and all for nothing, except a trillion dollars of debt. What was I thinking! Can't wait to get to the ranch."
Barack Obama (blinking and half-awake) resolved: "I will lay in a stock of nicotine gum at the White House and never again bum a cigarette from a Secret Service guy. Hmm. I wonder if I could still cancel Pastor Rick Warren?"
Sarah Palin: "If I decide to go for it in 2012, I'll have to enroll in a crash course in foreign affairs. And, oh yes, the names of newspapers are The Washington Post, The New York Times and The Christian Science Monitor; I'll recite those if ever, and hopefully never, I have to interview with that liberal elite journalist Katie Couric. Now I saw those turkeys being slaughtered behind me on the TV clip of my pardon of the turkey. I still can't figure out what's wrong with that."
Dick Cheney: "Yes, the war in Iraq was by necessity, not choice. And waterboarding is not, repeat not, 'torture.' I'll keep hold of the vice presidential papers; they're mine, dammit, not the American people's! (Right you are if you think you are. So there!)"
Joe Biden: "I resolve to answer questions in one brief paragraph; no exceptions. And I'm going to try to avoid blurting out dire predictions akin to my statement that Obama is certain to be tested by an international terrorist incident. Beau can take care of his own future."
Hillary: "I really did 'find my own voice,' but, regretfully, it wasn't enough to overcome the Obama full-court press. And so I was tired and frayed, but why in the world did I make up that Bosnian sniper thing? Got to button up and fly right as secretary of state!"
You may have some doubts about the accuracy of my out-of-body fantasies. I do too. But they illustrate an important fact about all of us, but particularly about public figures.
Every one of us has to make a face to meet the faces that we meet. Each of us has an interior life and a public life and the two rarely if ever coalesce perfectly. Most of us have a job. That job requires us to live up to external expectations if we want to succeed. We strive to appear in charge even though we have private reservations and even serious disagreements with role requirements. Certainly there are outright hypocrites who pretend to be what they're not. That's not the double life I have in mind.
Each of us presents an image to friends and to the public in general that departs from that interior personage. Sometimes it slips and falters. It's an exercise in repression and release to keep inside and outside functioning smoothly together.
But for politicians, especially those who are nationally visible public figures, the task of aligning interior and exterior is over and above the usual. The successful politico must present a robust public face. He or she must glow with health and endure endless campaigns with no signs of fatigue. He or she must watch every word for there is probably a mike or video camera nearby picking up the slightest gaffe.
Most of all, a presidential politician must incorporate within himself (or herself) the projected hopes of the populace for difficult change without flinching, and then project those hopes successfully outward.
Finally, it's Jan. 20. Obama is in the Oval Office. Yes, we can!
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hfrmack wrote on Jan 4, 2009 7:25 PM:
" You had me going there Tom. I liked your article at first. Good sense of humor. I like that! I like to joke about polititians and with political opponents too. You had the realm of comedy covered with jabs to both sides.
Good job! You blew it though with your prediction in your last sentence. No We Can't! I predict Obama will fail in his empty "hopes" for "change" with his false promises. I'm not about to hold my breath. Nice try however, had you gotten THAT right, I'd still be laughing too.
-hfrmack "
Good job! You blew it though with your prediction in your last sentence. No We Can't! I predict Obama will fail in his empty "hopes" for "change" with his false promises. I'm not about to hold my breath. Nice try however, had you gotten THAT right, I'd still be laughing too.
-hfrmack "
Phil wrote on Jan 5, 2009 7:55 AM:
" Just like we learned that stupid rhetoric leads to stupid wars, stupid deficits, stupid financial crisises, stupid pollution, and just plain stupidity while our country goes to pot for the past eight years. "
the_bat wrote on Jan 5, 2009 11:08 AM:
" Actually, Phil, I wouldn't say the country's gone to pot so much until about the last couple of years — especially after Pelosi and Reid took over in Congress. Of course things like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and all the rest have been looming in the background for years and we were warned about this by both John McCain and George W. Bush, but the country seemed to be doing OK up to then. In spite of Iraq and Afghanistan and especially in spite of all your Democratic bully boys and girls in Congress and the media kicking, screaming, and wailing every inch of the way since Bush beat Gore in 2000. Yeah, Bush beat Gore and if you think otherwise you need to get over it.
Aside from all that, I do hope Obama does well. For the good of the country, I do hope his presidency is successful. But knowing what I know about history and economics, at this point I have about zero optimism. And after the way Dems behaved in the aftermath of Bush's wins, Obama shouldn't expect much of any honeymoon coming from conservatives. When he does something right, I'll be there to commend him, but I don't expect to be doing that much, if at all.
Sorry to say this, but the way it looks from here is things are going down hill and they're picking up speed. The way it looks from here is that this once great ship of state has become a ship of fools. If that metaphor eludes you, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ship_of_Fools.
^o^
— http://i319.photobucket.com/albums/mm457/batreport/waiting_for_obama_800x488.jpg "
Aside from all that, I do hope Obama does well. For the good of the country, I do hope his presidency is successful. But knowing what I know about history and economics, at this point I have about zero optimism. And after the way Dems behaved in the aftermath of Bush's wins, Obama shouldn't expect much of any honeymoon coming from conservatives. When he does something right, I'll be there to commend him, but I don't expect to be doing that much, if at all.
Sorry to say this, but the way it looks from here is things are going down hill and they're picking up speed. The way it looks from here is that this once great ship of state has become a ship of fools. If that metaphor eludes you, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ship_of_Fools.
^o^
— http://i319.photobucket.com/albums/mm457/batreport/waiting_for_obama_800x488.jpg "
(return of) joe wrote on Jan 5, 2009 11:25 AM:
" Translation for the_bat: No, I want Obama and America to fail miserably so that the Supreme Court can appoint another "president." You don't want him to succeed. What is bad for America is good for the republicans. So, Bush did win in 2000? really? How do we know? The vote count was stopped. "
the_bat wrote on Jan 5, 2009 11:52 AM:
" No, Joe, unlike you, seemingly (and some of your pals?), I don't want any president to fail and I especially don't want America to fail just out of political spite. Just because you might think a certain way, doesn't mean others do.
^o^ "
^o^ "
(return of) joe wrote on Jan 5, 2009 12:15 PM:
" the_bat...Really? Then why do all of you always follow up your supposed "support" of Obama with "but?" "I really want him to succeed, but..." Why all of the pessimism? Don't you have more faith and love for your country than a whole bunch of pessimism for our people? "
Phil wrote on Jan 5, 2009 2:12 PM:
" the_bat wrote on Jan 5, 2009 11:08 AM:
"...but the country seemed to be doing OK up to then"
I guess you were asleep for about 6 years - but then so were Bush/Cheney before 9-11.
But they've sure kept us safe since then (translation: now that the terrorists have pulled off their one big plot that takes 7-10 years to plan, recruit, etc. we are safe until someone else takes over). "
"...but the country seemed to be doing OK up to then"
I guess you were asleep for about 6 years - but then so were Bush/Cheney before 9-11.
But they've sure kept us safe since then (translation: now that the terrorists have pulled off their one big plot that takes 7-10 years to plan, recruit, etc. we are safe until someone else takes over). "
lavendargreen wrote on Jan 6, 2009 9:26 AM:
" Tom's columns always make me laugh. Some of these fantasies are no doubt true. "
potsie wrote on Jan 6, 2009 11:08 AM:
" Phil wrote on Jan 5, 2009 2:12 PM:
"But they've sure kept us safe since then (translation: now that the terrorists have pulled off their one big plot that takes 7-10 years to plan, recruit, etc. we are safe until someone else takes over). "
So let's do the math here. If that attack took 7-10 years to plan, and Bush/Cheney had been in office for 9 months when 9-11 happened.....see where I am going? So reverse the clock 7 years from 9-11. Who was president? Who let Osama bin Laden get away? Who let attacks on Americans abroad go unchecked? Was it Bush? I don't think so.
Get over it people. In a few weeks Bush will be gone and the "Change" you wanted will be in office. "
"But they've sure kept us safe since then (translation: now that the terrorists have pulled off their one big plot that takes 7-10 years to plan, recruit, etc. we are safe until someone else takes over). "
So let's do the math here. If that attack took 7-10 years to plan, and Bush/Cheney had been in office for 9 months when 9-11 happened.....see where I am going? So reverse the clock 7 years from 9-11. Who was president? Who let Osama bin Laden get away? Who let attacks on Americans abroad go unchecked? Was it Bush? I don't think so.
Get over it people. In a few weeks Bush will be gone and the "Change" you wanted will be in office. "
(return of) joe wrote on Jan 6, 2009 2:35 PM:
" Correction, Potsie: The change that we ALL wanted. It was a landslide election. "
conservativeUS wrote on Jan 9, 2009 12:51 PM:
" (return of) joe wrote on Jan 6, 2009 2:35 PM:
" Correction, Potsie: The change that we ALL wanted. It was a landslide election
the welfare state won out! long live the united socialist state of america! Joe, looks like you will need a new flag with a joint and foodstamp printed on it. "
" Correction, Potsie: The change that we ALL wanted. It was a landslide election
the welfare state won out! long live the united socialist state of america! Joe, looks like you will need a new flag with a joint and foodstamp printed on it. "
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the_bat wrote on Jan 4, 2009 7:00 PM:
Yes, we can?
What?
^o^
— We're about to find out that empty rhetoric leads to empty pockets. "