Major Hoople
Dear Major Hoople Contest Participant,

Welcome to the 2013-2014 Major Hoople Contest! This year I am fully prepared to teach you helpless peasants a thing or two about football. Not that you'll pay attention. Harrumph

First let's go over some rules of my contest Kaff-kaff:

I will list 10 games each week, plus tie breaker questions calling for estimates on halftime score and final score for one of the games. Entries must be submitted on postal cards or online by clicking the 'Enter Contest' button below. If submitting on postal cards, please use either blanks appearing in the Courier sports section or an EXACT facsimile on a postal card.
First and second place winners will be declared every week... based on the best entry received for that week's contest. Judges' decisions are final.
The winning entry will be the eligible entry that forecasts the most correct results of the contest games. Games that end in ties are counted as incorrect unless a tie is forecast on the entry. In case of contest, the tie-breaking predictions, in order listed, will be used to determine a winner.
There is no charge for entering. But each person is entitled to only one entry each week. Multiple entries by one person, either postal card or online, will void all entered in that name. Each postal card must be signed in the handwriting of the person entering. To enter online by clicking the 'Enter Contest' button below, participants must register. The contest minimum is 18 years of age for the weekly prizes and MUST reside in the Courier's distribution area.
Participants eligible for the grand prize must be 18 years of age or older.
ONLINE ENTRIES MUST MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 5 PM THE FRIDAY PRECEDING THE SATURDAY GAMES. No Courier employee or his immediate family is eligible for awards. Consult your local post office for correct postage amount. Postage due mailings will NOT be accepted by the Courier.

Now get ready to have some fun and maybe you'll learn a thing or two. Kaff-kaff!

Your Knowledgeable Football Source,
Major Amos B. Hoople
The man (and what a man he is, Kaff-Kaff!) behind the legend that is Major Amos B. Hoople.

I was born in a football helmet in Amos Alonzo Stagg's basement some time between the Ice Age and Prohibition. My father played tackle for Stagg. Funny, so did my mother. That's where I get my good looks! Harrumph!

I became a peerless prognosticator because someone had to give you poor peasants guidance, not to mention cash. Besides, ABC wouldn't hire a stud for "The Batchelor" who refuses to take off his helmet! Kaff-kaff!

Over the years, I've learned from many other fearless forecasters. Joe Namath, who guaranteed a Super Bowl victory for the Jets over the Colts, was a role model. Fortunately, I've avoided one of the most negative influences on prognosticators - weathermen. After all, I'm right! Kaff-kaff!

For a man my age, I'm in perfect health. And I've got complete control of my faculties, which is more than you can say for Terry (Where's the Butterfly Net) Bradshaw! Harrumph!

Finally, I'm fully prepared to teach you helpless peasants a thing or two about football. Not that you'll pay attention. You're as good at forecasting as Gary Barnett is at keeping track of his players. Kaff-kaff!
Here are some terms that frequently appear in my fearless forecasts. Try to remember them. Write them down. Or hire someone who knows how to write, Harrumph!
Bumble-bees - Iowa fans. Most of the time, Hawkeye backers are about as annoying as bumble-bees! Kaff-Kaff!
Cyclods - Iowa State people. Here's a sure way to identify one. Look under a rock during the week Iowa State plays Kansas State. That's a Cyclod hiding until the whupping is over. Kyuk-Kyuk!
Egad! - My favorite word. I use to show you peasants my genius, my unerring ability to pick winners. Besides, it's the only four-letter word I can use in public. Harrumph!
Hoople World Headquarters - my home here in the Cedar Valley. Stop by any time. I have an open door. Of course, that's because I have no doors. Kaff-kaff!
Liver-lips - The assortment of dimwits and halfwits who send me forecasts and dispatches. They're the people who keep the crayon companies in business. Harrumph!
Loyal assistants - The always-changing cast of characters who pretend to work for me. I fire them - and rehire them - about once a week, or about as often as Kyle Farnsworth holds a lead. Kaff-kaff!
By enterting the contest, you have read and agreed to all rules and regulations